Met and Exceeded

Well, it's been a week and I need to post this. We will see if i can get this done in one sitting.  One week ago today we said goodbye to the girl who started it all.  We let Cookie go.  Man that was hard to write.  But she is free of pain and free to run with Butterz.

It seems like so long ago, and really it was.  Oct 2012 Cookie was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  We immediately started 16 rounds of Radiation therapy to temporarily stop it's growth and attack on her.  And it did it's job for much longer than expected.  We had been told the average was 8 months to 1 year.  We made it well past that......Met and Exceeded.

But here's the thing, the average life span of a boxer is 10 years.  Cookie lived just past 12 1/2.  Once again, Met and Exceeded.  But really, that's what her entire life was about, exceeding.

Cookie was born exactly 1 week after we were married, September 22, 2001.  Nacho picked her out, or rather she picked him out.

You see, i had my eye on another boxer.  Turns out we met that boxer's owners by chance out on the river one day & put it all together.  Cookie even got to hang out with her fursis for a summer.

But then came Butterz - her furbrother who we adopted when they were about 4.  And those 2 hit it off instantly.

They didn't miss a beat from day one!

They were Yin and Yang

I could post an endless stream of pictures so i better stop now!
But there was no mistaking it, Cookie was always The One!

She was and will forever be Nacho's #1 girl!  And I am so okay with that!

As heartbreaking as Butterz's diagnosis and passing was, I think Cookie's was more gut wrenching.  We were devastated when we got the news that she too had a brain tumor - very common in boxers by the way.  But the good news was, hers was not as aggressive as his and we did have the option to seek Radiation Therapy.  And you knew we would.  As I have said in other posts during her last year and a half, we knew we got lucky with her.  We've been on the other side before where luck was not so good.  So we were grateful for every day we had with her.

In the last 5-6 months we began noticing the little signs that the tumor perhaps was back.  Walking around in circles is a big clue.  That went on for some time.  Loss of balance became another.  In her last few months we had resigned ourselves to carrying her up and down the stairs multiple times a day so she could go do her business in the yard.  Between all the snow here and her balance issues, doing it on her own was not an option.  We did not mind at all!

It was in the last 3 weeks the changes became more drastic.  Her balance issues were becoming a problem inside the house.  Not just tripping up or down the 3 steps inside the house, but bumping into walls, etc.  In the last week, we noticed the BIG clue for a brain tumor:  getting "lost" in corners.  Often they will walk into a corner and just stand there, staring.  She did a lot of that.  More than that, she began to "panic" in those corners.  She would freak out and try to climb up the wall in an attempt to get out of the corner.  Not a good sign.  For all we know this was a combination of the tumor and old age.  Our concern now became that she was going to hurt herself when we were not there to help her.

Suffice it to say, her final weekend was when we knew we had to make a decision.  We found blood in her stool and she had a seizure.  This was only going to get worse.  We could not let her live like that, that is not living.  So we made the decision to let her go.

Don't think it's all sad stories though.  Cookie was all about the happy remember.

I have owned a lot of dogs in my 45 years, and letting them go has always been a hard decision.  A decision that I have always questioned no matter how "right" I knew it was.  But not this time.  Cookie taught me something so important.  Something I never saw coming:  There is a sweet spot for letting a pet go.  Too early and you always ask "what if?"  Too long and you hate yourself for being selfish.  Not Cookie, not this girl.  I am convinced that her leaving happened at the exact second it was supposed to.  As sad as it was to let her go, it's hard to explain how perfect it felt.  It was so "Cookie".  She stepped forward to us that day 12 1/2 years ago, and she let us know she was ready to go 12 1/2 years later.

She saw a lot in those 12 1/2 years:
A record flood

A record snow

A perfect life on the river

Sunny days that didn't end

A brother that no time or distance could separate

And humans that loved her more than imaginable

She lived such a full life.  It's hard not to be sad, but don't......That simply wasn't her style.

Survivor

it was one year ago today that i finished my last of 16 radiation treatments.  to say my humans are ecstatic today is putting it mildly.  we can't thank all our friends & family enough for all the wonderful support we've gotten over the last year.  we know we are lucky & we are so grateful for it.  here's to beating the odds!

12

12 years! Yeah that's right! Mom likes to say I'm. Running on an expired warranty. She's right  but I'm also a classic. Anyone who knows me knows my story over the past year. It's been quite  a journey & a lot of wonderful friends have been there with us.  As usual I've exceeded expectations & plan to keep doing just that! So thanks to everyone who has been here with us & our hearts go out to all that have gone before us.

Looking for #13......

1 year

It was one year ago this weekend that my humans noticed there was something not quite right.  It's been a long hard year but worth every penny & every minute.  Mom says we don't kid ourselves; we made it further than some & we certainly know what it is like to only have one option.  And mom says that even though we know we are operating on an expired warranty, we are grateful for every day & every second we have!

Charming

A new piece of bling for Cookie

and i neglected to remember that May is Pet Cancer Awareness Month & mom bought this for me from Crazy Rebels where they are donating 50% of their proceeds to PetCancerAwareness.org.  so if you have $10 (US) to spare, please honor either your pet or someone you know with this tag & help others out!

Test Drive

here is paw testing out our boxer lift
we are next!

Uplifting

waaaaay back last year when i was going through my radiation treatments, paw said he was gonna build me a stair lift to make getting up & down the stairs easier for me.  well, things get a little sidetracked around here, but he got back on that project this weekend.  Phase1 is now complete & we have a working lift going!
mom says Phase2 is the platform itself & minor tweaks.  we want the platform to have a walk-through on the side so the humans can be in constant, easy contact we me (or Baxter) to make everything more comfy on the ride down or up.

Good News

well, i had my 2nd follow-up appointment with Dr Looper & the staff at VCA yesterday.  the news couldn't have been any better!  according to Dr Looper, i'm doing great!  she was so impressed with how good i looked!  i passed my Neuro test (just some physical checks) & my chest xray was clear.  i have 2 more weeks on my thyroid medication & then we'll see if that will need to be permanent or if my thyroid & red blood cell count levels have come up any.

more importantly, i'm doing fantastic & mom & paw could not be happier!  thanks to everyone that kept me in their paw prayers & all the support they gave my humans!

Health Update

mom is such a slacker.  she hasn't posted any type of health update on me in some time.  well, i guess i will have to do all the work here.  paw was talking to a hockey team friend this weekend & they just lost their furbaby to meningioma & it reminded me that i need to let you all know how i'm doing.

well let's see.

• you may remember i was diagnosed with my brain tumor back in October.  and if you didn't know, Boxers have the 2nd highest incident of cancer of any breed and Brain cancer is our thing.  so as sad as that might sound, it is our lot in life, so we have to accept that!  can you tell what mom has been learning?
• i started my 16 radiation treatments the next week.  those ended Nov 6 - remember my hoomans made all those cookies for the VCA staff!
• mom took me back for my first follow-up appointment on Dec 4.  i now go every 3 months & my next one is Feb 7.
• i've been at work doing my Therapy Dog thing this whole time.  i don't go every Friday cuz mom babies me & she says Baxter needs to improve his work ethic!
• oh, and my hair is staring to come back on the top of my head!  guess i will have to cancel the order for a toupe'

overall i have been doing very well!  after all that radiation & prednizone, i had to be careful about my eating & drinking habits.  the doctor said prednizone makes me "think" i am hungry & thirsty so i would want to eat & drink more.  "think" my boxers!  I WAS HUNGRY! I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY! but mom kept me on a high fiber diet & didn't give in too much on the food.  of course any extra eating & drinking made me have to go to the bathroom more.  my humans came up with a way to help me out so i would not do business in the house (for my benefit not theirs).  i had a few accidents in the house, but i am a well-trained girl & it was nothing to bad.  this was where it was nice to have unseasonably warm weather!
so i had to do a series of follow-up appointments with my local vet to check my liver enzymes cuz the prednizone affects the liver.  those levels have come down so fast everyone has been amazed.  however, i have put on a little weight!  but nothing too much to worry about.  i'm a seasoned girl so i get to do that!
just in case, we tested my thyroid & it is low, so i'm now taking a pill twice a day for that.  my humans & the vet are not too worried, but we want to keep it all under control.  also, my red blood cell count has been a little low, but we are also not too concerned about that since i have plenty of energy & not showing any physical signs that are concerning.
it's been a long long journey & we know there are no guarantees, but that hockey friend losing his furbaby without having the options i have reminded my humans how lucky we really are.

you do all you can and that is all you can do!

Thank You!

that's 7 dozen Pizzelles for the VCA staff!

well, Tuesday was my last day of treatment.  my hoomans took the afternoon off to come up & get me & leave the staff with a gift of Italian Pizzelles - paw makes the best!  of course, Miss Kim had to get in a couple extra good byes with me!  she has been so good to me & the hoomans!

that's my graduation bandana

i was a little groggy this time since i got my treatment a little later in the morning. mom said she could still smell the booze (aka anesthesia) on my breath & i looked a little out of it in the car ride home.  i think i look fine!

but i did manage to pass out nap for most of the drive home.

i go back in 4 weeks (Dec 4th to be exact) for my 1st follow-up appointment.  after that it's every 3 months for the next year.  i have to stay on the steroids for the next month 2 but we will be weaning me off each week.  right now i stick to my 15mg twice a day & each week we go down.  

we cannot thank everyone enuff for all the support so far & what we know we'll continue to get.  

• everyone at VCA Aurora was spectacular!  mom says she hopes you NEVER have to go to a place like this, but if you do, don't hesitate & don't worry; they will do their best!  thank you Dr Looper, Dr Mercier, Kim, Maggie, Anthony & everyone!  not everyone walks out of there like we did, but you won't walk out alone!
• our friends & family who have been in constant contact to see how i'm doing and offer their #pawprayers
• our twitter friends.  OMD they have been amazing! Miss Clara (here or here) & i have been holding each other's paws the entire way & will continue to do so. if you don't think much about Twitter, you've never experienced the support mom has through this whole thing! thanks @bonnieboxer, @danapixie, @maggie68D, @Boo_boxer, @guccitheboxer, @SNUGGLELICIOUS, and just so many more that we don't have room for.
• and thanks @JessieTheBoxer (Jessie & Sammy) for that wonderful bunny!  Baxter says thanks too!

so we are keeping everything crossed & hoping we got rid of Mr Meanie! grrrrrr  Butterz would be proud!

We got a system

Mom picks me up on Fridays & we take a little walk before hitting the road. Girl time!

Tattoo

i'm home from my first week at spa camp & the first place i went?  my bed!

i surprised mom with my new tattoo

no really that's what my team uses so they know where to administer my radiation treatments.  mom is gonna go to town tomorrow & look for a pink bandanna that she can modify so i have a skull cap.  we don't want me messing it up in any way while i'm still getting treated.
we also met a new member of our team, Margie.  mom forgot to take her own photo but i bet we see her again.  and i bet we meet Christine before it's all over with!
so big thanks to these wonderful hoomans taking care of me & my parents!  we really do appreciate it!

Red Neck Doggy Door

so yesterday mom was concerned that i would do my business in the house while she & paw were at work. they didn't want to kennel Baxter again, so paw came up with a neat way to keep the cooler weather out, but allow us to still get out on the deck in case i really had to pee.....

mom says apparently you can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.  we don't know what that means!

Super Heroes

This is our team of super heroes at VCA Aurora taking care of me over the next few weeks.

That's Dr. Looper, my Oncologist, on the left.  She's a fellow snowboarder so you know she's cool!  Kim on the right helped check us in & gave us a tour of my "spa" facility.  And mom did not catch the name of the guy in the back, but he will be helping keep me happy & comfy over the coming weeks.  Thanks so much team!

Dr. Mercier was our Neurologist that worked with us last week.  Mom wanted to give props to her because she was so nice & helpful in breaking the news & explaining our options. And there have been so many other wonder hoomans at Aurora that are helping us through this.  Mom just can't say enough!

Road warrior

On our way to VCA Aurora for the start of our radiation treatments

Diagnosis

well i wish i could post some amazing good news, but life does not always work out like that.  i am a food bowl half full kind of boxer so i won't let this get me down.

i spent Tuesday & Wednesday at VCA Animal Hospital in Aurora.  let me tell you something about those hoomans! they are amazing!  they were so good to me & my maw & paw!

they did all kinds of poking & prodding & question asking.  i had a chest xray, abdominal ultrasound, & MRI.  the results show i have a large brain tumor called a meningioma - we have nicknamed him Mr Meni, pronounced 'meany'.  this is not the same brain tumor that Butterz had (glioma), but it is also not fixable.  but i do have treatment options.  my hoomans talked to a fancy Oncologist Thursday & i am scheduled to start radiation next week - if all goes well with my steroids this weekend.  so #pawscrossed as we say in the Twittersphere!

Healthy

i am feeling much better thank you.  yesterday marked 4 full days of taking my steroids and antibiotics.  my hoomans say i'm almost back to my old self - note to hoomans, I AM NOT OLD, I AM SEASONED!  we still don't know exactly what the problem was/is, but today i get to back off my steroid dosage.  i've enjoyed the custom meals mom made me: chicken+rice+pumpkin+green beans+egg+yogurt.  yummy!  right now enjoying the freedom of a completely open house!  they leave the slider open for me so if i need to go to the bathroom (and steroids will do that to you) i can at least do it on the deck & not in the house.  i have the place all to myself cuz Baxter has to be kenneled so i can have my freedom.  yippee!  i mean awww!  big thanks to all my Twitter friends who have been following & offering support!  let's hope this is the fix and not a temporary solution.
p.s. guess who has a birthday 1 week from Sat.....MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  so plenty of time for everyone to order those gifts!

Bye Boo

Posted by Mom:

well, i have put this off as long as i could. every week i kept thinking i'd get up the courage to post something and each time i sat down to type, i'd back out. well, if i wait until i can type without crying then nothing will ever get done, and not posting it doesn't bring him back, so here goes.

when i last posted, we were taking Butterz home to say goodbye. on May 24th we did just that. but what happened in between? the short of it, we found out he had a brain tumor and it was cancer - glioblastoma to be precise. given the option to put him through radiation and send him home with "meds for comfort", we chose to let him go with dignity. i cannot possibly express how hard that decision was to make or how hard it has been ever since. barely a day has gone by that nacho and i have have not mourned in some form or fashion. i've cried more in the past 2 months than i thought possible. it's been a long time since i had to put a dog to sleep but that feeling of slipping away never ceases to amaze me. i know we made the right decision but it has not made the last several weeks any easier.

a little history about Butterz. of course his given name was Matrix. our dear friend Korby hooked us up with him. we'd heard about him since we'd gotten Cookie. Matrix was her brother. a kid in town had gotten a boxer from the same litter and it turned out to be Butterz. we'd heard all the stories about how big he was. anyone who'd seen both he and Cookie said "you gotta see this dog!" as misfortune or luck would have it, his owner was not able to keep him. so at just under 4 we (ME) offered to foster him to help the owner out. nacho was against this at first. when i went for my first meet and greet, i was taken back by his size and demeanor. this dog clearly had a lot to say! that never changed! but within a couple of weeks we both knew (1) we'd made the right decision and (2) he'd be with us permanently. it was quite the complement 6 months later when his owner said "you guys keep him. i could never give him what you give him." do not get me wrong, this guy was not a bad person, just bad timing.

we never looked back. Butterz challenged everything i knew about patience. but the last 2 years, he taught us more about working with what you've got! if he were a person, you'd say "he had such a zest for life!". on a scale of 1-10, Butterz was a 17. and it was with that perspective that we knew the right thing to do was to let him go when he still seemed like himself. i'd rather say he was a 13 when he left than a 2.

since we've said goodbye, i realized he taught me one HUGE thing: how much of my life he took up. his was the BIG head you saw in the window coming down the drive. he was the one sitting at the top of the steps staring at the driveway. he was the one that cleaned out the shower when you were done. he was the one that cuddled with me every night. he was the one that snored. he was the one that would jump head-even with you when he got excited about going somehwere. he was the one that made the most noise when you came home. he was the one that slobbered on everything. i know these things now because over the last few weeks i've missed all of them and more. Butterz was my stuffed animal come to life.

so it's been a terribly difficult 2 months. we all three have felt the loss. even more surprising though are the friends who've felt it with us. i cannot begin to describe the outpouring of support we got through all of this.

• our vet and their staff were amazing! they supported us by continuing to test everything they possibly could and reminding us we were not crazy for insisting they do so.
• the staff at U of I Veterinary Hospital. i cannot say enough about Dr Kubier. she called me a couple days after we had to let him go just to say she was thinking about me. in the midst of our ordeal she said "i believe there are pet soul mates and i believe Matrix is yours." yes he was. and she has no idea how much those words meant to me!
• the staff at Purdue University Veterinary Teaching Hospital. Dr's Moore and the student vet that helped him (whose name i cannot recall) were awesome. they understood what a tough decision it was for us to make and completely supported us! as Dr Moore said "that's the most selfless decision you can make." thanks Dr Moore!
• our good friends Sarvers. as Donna said later, they just kept bothering us so we'd get ourselves and Cookie out of the house. when we didn't or wouldn't talk to anyone, they'd come down and make us talk to them. Barry, your offer about Butterz ashes is one of the most moving things anyone has ever said to me. thank you!
• and countless friends and family that really seemed to feel this with us. people contacted us and said things that i never would have imagined. i mean to some people, "it's just a dog" but it was clear to those around us, he was not! he was a lot of things, but he was never just a dog! thank you all!

i consider my time with Butterz a true gift. i know this is a hard road to travel. and i know it is not supposed to be easy. i have a hard time looking forward because i know he's not in front of me. but every time i look back, there he is, in the middle of the road, encouraging me to keep walking, knowing with every step i take, his image gets more and more fuzzy, smaller and smaller. he should be here. and if he could, he'd come running up that road to me, ears and slobber flailing.

love you, miss you Boo!

the short of it

We are taking him home to say goodbye

slumber party

well, brother is attending his first slumber party and mom forgot to take PJ's for him. he's spending the night at U of I Vet clinic. it was a long day for both brother and mom. they are gonna run a bunch more test and we hope to have him back home tomorrow. mom said the vets were very nice and brother really liked the first vet (of course she can't remember her name) and the 2nd vet, Dr Kubier, was very nice.

mom did get the cytology report back from our local vet this morning and everything came back good. they didn't find anything. they are gonna run another one while at U of I just cuz it doesn't hurt.

a HUGE shout out to everyone that emailed, texted, or called mom today to make sure she was okay too. she really appreciates that! and keep up the good thoughts for butters cuz we miss him already!